How it started...
For years, I struggled with anxiety and depression. When I finally, reluctantly, reached out for help, my first experience with counselling was a betrayal of trust that left me feeling more isolated than ever. This all but confirmed the thoughts I'd already had that no one would understand me and how help just wasn't possible for someone like me. That hopelessness became a catalyst for me - I wanted to become the counsellor for others that I needed but didn't receive. Someone who truly understands what it's like to feel lost - broken - how difficult it is to come to counselling and open up about deeply vulnerable things and who actually honours the sanctity of the therapeutic space and the relationship between counsellor and client.
You can complain because roses have thorns or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. I love this quote; it demonstrates the power of perspective. The way that we look at things can often change the way we experience them. It's not about ignoring the thorns, it's about learning to appreciate the roses despite or, perhaps, even because of the thorns.
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go, it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. This is the other quote that I always have in the back of my mind. Whilst I do appreciate the shift in perspective that this quote can provide, it's actually more the portrayal of courage that I love most. Typically, when we think about courage, it's the depiction of a warrior preparing for battle. However, not everybody identifies with the warrior archetype. In fact, I imagine most people probably don't - I certainly don't. There is just as much courage demonstrated by something delicate choosing to be vulnerable in a moment that's risky, as there is a warrior heading off into battle.
There's no kindness in dishonesty. A long time ago, I made a commitment to both myself and others that I would always be honest with people, even if it's difficult to say or to hear. In my personal life, this has led others to rely on me as someone they can trust to give them a real answer to difficult questions - of course with as much sensitivity as possible. In my professional life, this looks a little different; I'm not here to give my personal opinions or offer hard-hitting truths. Instead, my goal is to be a reliable, dependable presence that you can trust to be real with you. First, I hold myself accountable; I don't always get things right - I'm human - and I sometimes make mistakes. In these moments, I hold my hands up and acknowledge this and, if necessary, apologise. Second, I am willing to bring attention to things happening for me within the space. Third, if there is something that you bring to a session and I feel I would not be the best person to help you with it, I will let you know and I will offer to point you in the direction of more appropriate support.
Whether it's in my personal or professional life, I am very comfortable being around and walking alongside others that live their lives differently from how I live mine. We are all unique and it's our differences, as much as our similarities, that make us interesting and valuable.
At my core...
